Excited Again

May 2, 2017          13:11 It's appointment day. Since week 35, I've had to schedule three appointments each week: non stress test with ultrasound , diabetes,  and OB check . I usually cram them on Tuesdays so that I don't have to conquer my three-floor-walk-up more times than needed .  We woke up early for our routine. While I was getting my things together, I looked over and saw my hospital bag.  I asked Arlinton if we should bring it,  but we both decided there was no need and should wait until the time of delivery.  However,  I think I had a feeling that today may be the day I'd meet little Asher. The first appointment was the non stress test and ultrasound. Every other week, the radiologist checks the amniotic fluid and fetal movements.  Last week,  we had a little scare because the  radiologist saw that my amniotic fluids were low.  He told me to drink more water and that he would...

April 21, 2017       23:04 I'm finally at week 36. I'm not term, but I'm excited because I no longer have to be frightened if the baby comes. Up until this week, I was in constant fear that each contraction meant I would go into labor and have a baby that I knew didn't have proper lung development. Although he's not "fully cooked" he has baked just enough for my doctor to give me her blessing for delivery. Everything is going great. I may not be able to get around like I'd like or carry my toddler around, but life is good. Staying home from work also did wonders. With some rest, I've been able to get a control of those crazy contractions that made it difficult to do anything. I'm not contraction-free  by any means, but the knowledge that Asher and myself will be fine is freeing. This wasn't the case 3 weeks ago when things got bad. The only "bad" thing I could cite is the reality check I received at my last doctor's appoint...

April 2, 2017              12:02 It's been quite a week. Since the beginning of my third trimester I've become more aware that D-day is coming soon. I look forward to the birth of Asher. I look forward to the process of labor and the possibility of having the experience that was cut short a few years ago. I'm sure things will be different given the many roadblocks: gestational diabetes->starting medication-> high risk label-> earlier date of induction.  I'm still optimistic, but this week we encountered another element; premature contractions. Whether you call them Braxton Hicks or contractions without dilation, they are scary when they are early and without prompting. I've tried to grow accustomed to discomfort since the emergency room visit in my first or second trimester. However, over the last week I've become more uncomfortable and unable to move around like I would like because of cramping. On Thursday...

March 20, 2017        15:07 I am seriously fatigued. Fatigue is one of my least favorite symptoms of the third trimester. My issue with fatigue during pregnancy is that it's unshakable. There comes a point where no amount of coffee or sleep can quell the daily spells of exhaustion. Fortunately, everyone does not have fatigue during pregnancy. Unfortunately, the differences in other people's experiences can sometimes be alienating. My least favorite question is, "How are you feeling?" I'm happy that others are concerned, but how often can I keep up the act by smiling and saying I'm ok. I'm not ok and I don't like to be a "Debbie Downer." I answer honestly from time to time and say exactly what's happening. I just don't see how it's helpful most of the time. It's almost impossible for me to verbalize my discomfort and overall feeling that I'm not " myself." Ironically, I'm starting to forget what "feeling...

February 22, 2017      11:08 I'm not sure if my second pregnancy feels shorter because I've done this before, I'm super busy, or a mixture of both. I can't believe that I'm already in the third trimester. My memories of third trimester include extreme fatigue, blowing up, preggo brain, baby showers, and the ultimate climax of labor. I thought that this would be a good blog entry to go through ideals that I had during my first pregnancy and how they have changed. Eating Habits and Pregnancy Before: Eat what you can... You already don't eat as much Now: It's beyond moderation... Time to diet My views have changed mostly because I have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. It was a big bummer. I failed the 1 hour as I had my last pregnancy,  but failed the 3 hour test this pregnancy.  For the last week and for the rest of my pregnancy,  I will be controlling my glucose levels through diet control. The low carb diet is interesting because I can eat all...

February 13, 2017  8:01 Welp... I failed my 1 hour glucose test and I'm in the lab to take the 3 hour test.  These glucose test are annoying to say the least.  As a health professional,  I don't scoff at the importance of checking for gestational diabetes.  However,  I can say my attitudes have changed since being in the patient role. I find myself chalking it up as, "who cares if my baby is a little big." In reality I know the risks are complications before and after pregnancy,  high birth weight for the baby, low glucose of the baby at birth, increased risk of C-section, and death of the mother and baby.  With that said,  I'm not worried.  I've taken these glucose tests before and wasn't surprised that I I'm in the same position as last time.  My only dread has been drinking these awful glucose preparations.  They make me feel queasy and give me a headache.  I'm praying for good results today.  I don't want anythi...

January 1, 2017 I'm 20 weeks pregnant. It feels like this pregnancy is going by quicker than the last.  Some speculate that I feel it's going faster because I'm busier. I couldn't imagine being busier than I was my first 2 years of residency. However, any year of residency plus Felicity trumps all years.  I'm at work most of the day, but when I'm home,  I'm all about getting the house in order and being mom. I feel exhausted at this point, I but with continue to prevail. In terms of the pğregnancy,  I'm continuing to have bizarre symptoms. First, I have been itching.  No rash, no redness, nothing except an itch that won't go away. I thought that it was probably the cold weather, but it's unrelenting. I've also experienced acid reflux quite a bit earlier than I had before.  TUMS are once again my best friend.  Aside from fatigue I feel more physically weighed down.  Our little one may one be 12 ounces, but I think I'm starting to feel e...

12/11/16        11:33 I don't know if it's because it's my second time around or that I'm more busy with work and Felicity,  but the time is surely flying.  I've had so much to blog about, but have been caught in so deeply in the whirlpool of life that I haven't thought to share my experiences.  First, me and the baby are doing well.  It's crazy,  but I'm just as scared about something wrong happening as I was with Felicity. I actually was more frightened this time around because I had a scare on Black Friday.  Thanksgiving night, I started to feel lower abdominal pain,  lower back pain and cervical pressured. These were sensations that I hadn't experienced until my third trimester when I was ready for Felicity to enter the world.  This baby was not yet welcomed. Me and Arlinton rushed to the emergency room only to get the diagnosis of progression of pregnancy and round ligament pain.  Treatment : Get some ...

11/1/16         20:36 My sister in law will be induced tonight.  I am beyond exited. First, because I can't wait to see my new niece and second because I love labor. Yes... I love labor.  Labor is work and like  work it can be hard, exhausting,  and depleting. However,  just like work, it can also be rewarding,  positive, and purposeful. They say you get amnesia during the subsequent pregnancies, so bear with me. My possibly skewed view of birth is that it was the greatest test of teamwork in my family ,  it allowed me to focus on God like never before,  and it showed me humility in ways that I cannot explain. My extended family's consensus is that trying for another med-free birth is nonsensical.  Without saying my decision, I will say that there is nothing more retrospectively beautiful than the process and work of labor. You basically turn animalistic and reach into depths that otherwise would not h...

October 18, 2016    19:33 I'm on night float now and it's such a task.  I am worn out and so tired.  I was told that everyone feels that way on night float. That sounds reasonable,  but the pregnancy is also bringing me shortness of breath and back pain.  I have lugging around a rolling suitcase to protect my back.  It was definitely helpful when doing regular walking, but the stairs have been relentless.  I'm going to buy a smaller rolling bag to try to get the best of both worlds.  The positive note is that some things are improving.  My nausea had lifted for the most part.  Weird smells and gross things still make me gag, but I've been able to withstand the day without the burden of unprovoked nausea. I'm also able to complete the majority of my work.  Some things are not ideal, but I'm not completely behind. All in all,  I'm blessed and fortunate to still stand.  I have so much to be thankful for in the mid...

October 13, 2016      07:48 I've felt miserable since returning to work.  It's not that I dislike my job, but that I'm exhausted. When on vacation last week,  I slept in most days,  relaxed,  and had refuge in place if I felt nauseated or tired. While at work,  I am struggling because I don't have those luxuries.  Ironically,  I've been able to nap at least 20 minutes a day between patients and classes. The naps are great in the moment,  probably help me get through the day,  but don't carry me through the entire day. By the 2 last patients, I'm beat and doing my best to give them the care I'd give my earlier patients.  Luckily,  despite my fatigue,  I still feel engaged and motivated to work.  I remember that my fatigue was so severe the third trimester with Felicity that even that went along the wayside and I knew it was time to leave.  The fatigue I have now makes it hard for me to do much...

October 5, 2016      22:28 It's week eight and I feel as pregnant as ever. It's so interesting that when you're showing the least, you're having so many symptoms.  I've been feeling miserable at night : nausea, fatigue,  moodiness... you name it.  I'm in the thick of it. My solace is that in about 4 weeks I'll be OK. I have noticed some differences thus far between the two pregnancies.  First,  I feel pregnant sooner.  I don't have a bump quite yet,  but I can feel my uterus expanding by the minute.  My symptoms are quite apparent and the wobble is in full effect. Second,  the glow is much more apparent this pregnancy.  People have shamelessly came to me and said congratulations on my pregnancy. I had to ask why people felt that convicted that they wouldn't hesitate. Have I gained that much weight?  Have people loss all tact?  A woman told me that she just knew because my glow was on 100. I was shocke...

September 28, 2016  16:26 I'm currently sitting in the waiting room of Dr. Bradley's office waiting to see my second baby for the first time.  Most people may not consider the tadpole like figure that I'm going to see a baby,  but they forget that we all came from humble beginnings. It feels as if this is the first time,  but it's not.  I know the routine. It feels so familiar to me. So many memories returned of how his place was my routine hang out every month, then every two weeks,  then every week.  The people here took care of me when I was having Felicity and I have faith they will do the same with the little ones to come. Appointments are pretty much the same. After doing the ritual pee-in-cup dance,  you get your weight taken,  get your blood pressure measured, and then see the doctor.  Most times,  the doctor measures your uterus,  addresses any questions and concerns, and shows you the baby. Today I plan to get the f...